My First Day at School

 

My First Day at School

We have seen glimpses of children’s life at home before they attend school for the first time. We also saw the processes by which they learnt various things at home. Life at home was secure, surrounded by familiar, doting adults and full of happiness.

School is an Alien Place!

Just imagine how different children’s experiences would be in the first few days of school! Suddenly one day they are brought to a place which is totally unfamiliar to them. The place is very crowded and filled with a lot of adults they do not even recognize.

They are embraced by strangers who sometimes have to forcibly take them away from their mother’s arms. They also see many other children like them crying. Crying seems addictive and more and more children seem to join in the chorus. They can see their parents who do not seem to come forward and take them back into their arms.

The place also seems to be filled with a lot of furniture leaving almost no place for playing.

It is such a relief when their parents take them back into their arms and take them home. What a traumatic experience!

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There is School Every Day

For many children it is traumatic that this experience is repeated every day. They cannot understand why they have to come to this alien place day after day.

After the first few days, they see their parents leaving them in the hands of unfamiliar adults and going away. Children cannot understand that their parents would come back to take them. All they experience is a deep sense of insecurity of having been abandoned. No wonder many of them cry.

It takes them a few days of to get familiar with the adults at the school. Some of them find safety in clinging to their teachers.

They slowly also realize that the tactics which worked at home do not seem to work in school. At home crying used to bring an adult within a few seconds to attend to them. But in schools, sometimes no one seems to bother about their crying. Some of them just get tired of crying and then go to sleep.

Gradually children get accustomed to the idea of coming to this new place every day. But the adjustment time is different for different children. A major factor seems to be the kind of experiences they have had, at home, before coming to school.

Can this trauma be avoided?

Children who come to school for the first time, are too young to even understand what is a school and why they are being sent to school. Prior visits to familiarize children with the idea of school, would not work.

Children who have elder siblings, may be able to understand the idea of school to certain extent. They see their siblings, prepare for school, wear a uniform, take a bag and lunch and then leave for the day and return in the evening. Many children may get attracted by the idea of putting on a uniform and have a bag of books.

But all this will not prevent them from feeling insecure when their parents leave them at school and disappear for a while.

What can Parents Do?

Seeing their child crying at school and wanting to go back home, is surely a traumatic experience for parents also, especially mothers. But they need to understand that it is a necessary and unavoidable traumatic experience for their child. The more a child gets used to being in the classroom, without seeing the parents, faster will she get used to the idea of being in school.

Parents need to realize that by staying within sight of their child makes the work of the teachers far more difficult.

Parent Orientation Program

It may be a good idea for a school to have an “orientation” program for new nursery parents, a few days before start of school. In this meeting, teachers can explain to parents that it is almost a universal & unavoidable experience for the children & for parents. Teachers can also provide them guidelines for handling these emotions.

If teachers & parents cooperate the period of adjustment of the child to a new environment may be drastically reduced.